What I don't get, is that I'm feeling this relaxed peacefulness AT THE SAME TIME as this restless, can't-put-my-finger-on-it, head-exploding manic terror, AND the listless, apathetic, paralytic torpor.
Why?
Probably because in the back of my mind there's a voice saying, "Remember all that shit you didn't do when you were in crisis? Remember the list of 11 critical things of which you had to ignore all but the three that were really, really, super-critical? Well the ones that weren't are still critical and NOW you have time to do them. BACK TO WORK!" And I'm tired, so I can't, so I'm back in limbo.
Real talk: What do I do about this. Anybody lived with this issue and actually overcome it? Because I really can't even anymore. I need to relax when I have a moment to relax, without turning it into yet another problem, or I will actually expire. I wish there was some mechanical switch to cut off the electricity that powers the terror.
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