Buzzing with anticipation

As happens every year around this time, I feel like my body is buzzing with anticipation this week. Christmas is SO CLOSE, but somehow, impossibly, sooooooo far away. I want to get everything ready, but there are so many things that just have to wait until closer to the time, and other things that could be done right now only they just aren't mine to control. Waiting drives me crazy. I'm literally vibrating with the need to do something and cross it off my list. But I love being excited about Christmas. I feel good -- so far!


I'm starting to learn that there is more than one meaning behind the concept of patience. There's patience with people, which involves compassion and understanding, and then there's patience with waiting, which involves calmness and, well, waiting. The first kind of patience, where you allow people to work things out without undue interference, is pretty important in my profession. I'm passionate about working with children and about facilitating their steps toward independence, so I have to be willing to let them go slowly and do things their own way, but still be there to observe and help them along.

As for the waiting calmly part, I'll admit I'm not always the best at that. I like efficiency, and like many people, I tend to think that the way I've worked out oh-so-logically is the most efficient possible way, and so I can be quick to jump in and take over when I forget myself. Ask any seven-year-old -- when you think you know the answer, it's hard to refrain from blurting it out.

However, I think what do I have tons of is compassion and understanding. When I have the patience to listen, and to ask questions that aim to help me understand the other person's narrative instead of to satisfy my own (admittedly voracious) curiosity, I'm pretty good at understanding others' perspectives, and empathy is something I sometimes feel like I'm up to my eyeballs in. I love the kids I work with, and to be honest, working with them helps me rethink the way I interact with adults as well.

Lately, I've been working (with middling success, but that's not exactly failure, right?) on listening more and offering my unsolicited opinion less. It's a work in progress; acceptance of things the way they are instead of the way I think they should be is a huge stumbling block that I'm slowly chipping away at, but obviously, as demonstrated by my little Christmas mini-freak-out above, important to the peaceful living of everyday life. So... patience.

One thing I wish there were a magical formula for is the "right" amount of involvement in other people's issues. How do you know who, how, when? Is there an age, or a degree of social separation, at which it is appropriate to offer one's opinions and advice and concerns without solicitation? Is there a certain type of body language or a certain set of key phrases that are supposed to cue us to action? As a teacher, as a family member, as a friend, I find it hard to know when to step in and when to butt out of other people's problems -- and it seems as though every person and every situation has a different threshold.


To those of you who have seen the know-it-all side of me (maybe that's all of you... well, so be it then), I apologize for those times when it gets annoying or uncomfortable, and I hope it's balanced by at least a few helpful instances. I promise you, I mean well. And please, please, feel free to simply say, "I'm not really looking for advice right now. I just want you to listen." Or, even better, tell me how you think I could be most helpful to you. I promise, I will do my best to have patience.

Serendipity with a side of caution

I just finished reading Inside Out Girl, by Canadian author Tish Cohen. It's the story of Olivia, a little girl with Non-verbal Learning Disorder (NLD), and of the people in her life.

Before reading this book, I'd never heard of NLD, but my understanding now is that it's a disorder that presents somewhat like and can often be conflated with Asperger's Syndrome. People with NLDs will often be very good with verbal learning and with using the meanings of words, but will have trouble understanding and gaining information from non-verbal cues, such as tone, facial expression, body language, symbols, etc. In addition, they may have fine motor difficulties, and other symptoms.

I sometimes have instances where I have to wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something very specific. You know that "huh" moment that comes when you pick up a book for no particular reason or just because it's been on your to-read list for a while or whatever, and it turns out to deal with the exact question that's been puzzling you recently, or to contain a direct solution to your current worry, even though you had no thought of these things when you chose it? That's what I felt while reading this book. Olivia's characteristics, the ones that are linked to her LD, remind me very much of a student that I have this year whom I've been puzzling over, and whom everyone -- parents, teachers, peers -- is kind of uncertain exactly how to help and interact with.

Sadly, Inside Out Girl does not contain answers, but what it did give me was lots of insight into the problems that a young person like Olivia might have, both academically and socially, and the neurological bases for those problems -- which helps me think of or look for ways to access strengths and bypass weaknesses. Also, knowing that the situation with my student is not a unique or unknown one tells me that I might find still more insight out there.

As for the book itself, I really enjoyed it. I fell in love with most of Cohen's characters, and was really into their stories. One thing that impressed me was that the author didn't cop out with a completely happy ending filled with miracles and rainbows. Bad things happened, bad choices were made, consequences stuck. But the fact that it managed to be very far from depressing with all that said, made me happy. I like happy endings. I like smart happy endings better.

I'm already onto my next Tish Cohen book. So far so good.

Christmas and "musical" moments: These are a few of my favourite things

I follow this blog, zenhabits, because it sometimes has good ideas for reducing clutter and upping your simple happiness factor. Today's post is about doing the things that truly inspire you and make you happy, and in it, the author linked to this video. (Scroll down to the middle of the page, to the youtube insert.)

Now, you all know I love flashmobs. This one is awesome and definitely no exception. While I watched it, I had to wonder how many people were originally part of the performance, and how many joined in spontaneously because they have performed the chorus in one form or another before and know it fairly well.

Happy holidays.

http://zenhabits.net/get-inspired/