Dear Teacher,
Here is a five-year-old child. We will add him to your volatile class of 20 five and six year olds. He tends to run away from adults. Please keep him safe and return him to his parents at the end of the day.
To ensure success, we are placing a second adult in your classroom to support him for an hour in the afternoon every day 5. Please ensure he confines his escapades to this schedule. Should you feel your skills are inadequate to manage with this level of support, requests for increased aid, accompanied by the requisite 3 weeks' to 6 months' worth of documentation, lunch-time meetings and after school phone calls, will be duly considered once each of your shortcomings have been queried and found not at fault.
If your new student should escape your watch during the mornings or on days 1-4, we encourage you to phone your grade team member or another of your colleagues for relief. As you may know, there is strength in numbers. If all colleagues are found to be unavailable, please ensure you yourself track down the child and tell him to return to class in such a way as to make him think it was his idea, and continue teaching and caring for your other students simultaneously. Remember that leaving your students unsupervised is a breach of your supervisory duties. If you find yourself in breach of duty, contact the office. At this point, if available, we will send a staff member to locate the child, and assign another to speak with you regarding your breach of duty and determine which classroom management modules you should be required to rewatch.
Please ensure you employ enough developmental psychology and plan enough fun activities and make available enough new and exciting resources and be amicable and attentive enough to make your new student WANT to stay in your classroom, because as you know, you may not use touch, restraint, intimidation, or limiting the timing of washroom visits to ensure he stays under your supervision. Also, please keep doors and windows open to allow air and other particles to circulate in a free and unconstrained manner.
We remind you that as per your job description, you continue to be required to ensure all of your students are productively engaged with the prescribed curriculum during instructional hours, to build a relationship with each child, to communicate constantly with each family, to ensure each child spends time reading with you individually and in small groups, to respond to each child's physical and emotional needs, to provide order and structure and boundaries, to build flexibility and fun and adaptability, and to model organization and self-regulation and social skills. Every child has different needs and you are expected to supply all of them to all your students at all times.
Know that we APPRECIATE you and insist that you add self-care to your after-school to-do list so that you can continue to start each new day at school fresh and unjaded by the events of yesterday. We understand that this will be a challenge, and we are sure you're grateful for the chance to demonstrate your skills. We expect only the best from you -- as you know, maintaining high expectations is one of the best ways to lead our followers to success!
Warmest Regards!
