Here it is, my first twitterable story. The hardest part was, predictably, getting it down from very short through even shorter to very very short. It's no six words, but for now, it's short enough for me. I'd love your feedback.
As our eyes meet I know – I'd do anything for you. At her scream, your face crumples. I lay you back in your pram, and I return to browsing.
Have I been successful in delivering the plot within the 140 character alotment? What do you think the viewpoint character is feeling and how do you feel about said character? Can you even tell what the story's about?
My thought was that the character has kidnapped the baby and done something bad to mum --- am I close? I'm probably way off . . . .
ReplyDeletePretty close -- the character walked off with the baby while in the grocery store. Mum screams as she realizes her baby's missing. Kidnapper realizes doing anything for baby means leaving it with its obviously loving mother, and walks away sans baby. I was hoping all of that would come through, but I guess it's a lot for 140 characters... :P
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