I'm starting to learn that there is more than one meaning behind the concept of patience. There's patience with people, which involves compassion and understanding, and then there's patience with waiting, which involves calmness and, well, waiting. The first kind of patience, where you allow people to work things out without undue interference, is pretty important in my profession. I'm passionate about working with children and about facilitating their steps toward independence, so I have to be willing to let them go slowly and do things their own way, but still be there to observe and help them along.
As for the waiting calmly part, I'll admit I'm not always the best at that. I like efficiency, and like many people, I tend to think that the way I've worked out oh-so-logically is the most efficient possible way, and so I can be quick to jump in and take over when I forget myself. Ask any seven-year-old -- when you think you know the answer, it's hard to refrain from blurting it out.
However, I think what do I have tons of is compassion and understanding. When I have the patience to listen, and to ask questions that aim to help me understand the other person's narrative instead of to satisfy my own (admittedly voracious) curiosity, I'm pretty good at understanding others' perspectives, and empathy is something I sometimes feel like I'm up to my eyeballs in. I love the kids I work with, and to be honest, working with them helps me rethink the way I interact with adults as well.
Lately, I've been working (with middling success, but that's not exactly failure, right?) on listening more and offering my unsolicited opinion less. It's a work in progress; acceptance of things the way they are instead of the way I think they should be is a huge stumbling block that I'm slowly chipping away at, but obviously, as demonstrated by my little Christmas mini-freak-out above, important to the peaceful living of everyday life. So... patience.
One thing I wish there were a magical formula for is the "right" amount of involvement in other people's issues. How do you know who, how, when? Is there an age, or a degree of social separation, at which it is appropriate to offer one's opinions and advice and concerns without solicitation? Is there a certain type of body language or a certain set of key phrases that are supposed to cue us to action? As a teacher, as a family member, as a friend, I find it hard to know when to step in and when to butt out of other people's problems -- and it seems as though every person and every situation has a different threshold.
To those of you who have seen the know-it-all side of me (maybe that's all of you... well, so be it then), I apologize for those times when it gets annoying or uncomfortable, and I hope it's balanced by at least a few helpful instances. I promise you, I mean well. And please, please, feel free to simply say, "I'm not really looking for advice right now. I just want you to listen." Or, even better, tell me how you think I could be most helpful to you. I promise, I will do my best to have patience.
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