Week 2: Project CIMOS and The Reason

Well, I haven't been able to really write anything down since figuring out the plan for recording thoughts! However, there are a few things I've noted down, to put up when I got the chance.

First, where my motivation to teach is concerned -- through talking it out with several helpful people, I realize that maybe my motivation has felt low because I've been contradicting it with another, more external. I mean, who wouldn't want to be friends and have fun with the kids they work with? But you have to get the academic and official stuff done too, and sometimes it seems like too much fun might "get in the way" of that. I think I was working on the assumption that until I had fulfilled all the curriculum/reporting requirements, I had to shelve the idea of doing the fun, simple things. With a serendipitous change in perspective brought to me by the very kids themselves (my true motivators, of course!), I realize that this doesn't have to be the case.

If I can segment concepts and skills so that they're singular enough to grasp with a brief amount of time and attention, I can take things at a reasonable pace -- and if I can start with stuff the kids already know how to do, instead of beginning with the next reasonable step, then they can have fun progressing, knowing that they're already successful. The new mantra here is, "Always start with the fun stuff, and do one thing at a time."

Where judgmental thoughts are concerned, I've made some progress in catching them just after I think them. However, I'm not always sure how to change them. Do I change negative to more positive? Aim for balance? Is it objectivity that I want? Do I simply take the thought back, leaving nothing in its place but a vague feeling of censorship? Will that feeling go away with time and practice?

This looks to be something I'll need to ruminate on some more before an answer can move me forward. So until such an epiphany -- or until next Tuesday, I'll just keep watching for the judgmental thoughts, and learning to catch them in the act.